2013, 2014, clouds, copenhagen, copenhagenclouds, cphclouds, creative, denison, english, senior, writing

First chapter of Copenhagen Clouds

(This is the first chapter from Copenhagen Clouds which was my year-long senior writing project in college. It’s a YA novel about a college student who studies abroad in Denmark, falls for her host sister’s boyfriend and struggles to find her independence.)

Chapter 1

Today was finally here. In less than sixteen hours, I would be in Denmark. Instead of travelling to Indiana University for the second semester of my sophomore year, I would be spending it studying abroad. I had stuffed my suitcase with so many clothes that it did not stand a fighting chance of ever being less than 50 pounds. My parents repeatedly assured me that they would help check it in at the airport and that I wouldn’t have to re-check it in Chicago. The bag would follow me there through airport magic. My dad tried to help me pack some things into my carryon backpack. Taking his time, he folded a couple of long sleeve shirts into flat squares. He put two pairs of tennis shoes on top. He was not an expert Tetris packer like I was. As soon as he walked away, I threw out what he had packed. I tightly rolled my shirts and shoved them inside my shoes. There would be no wasted space in this bag, so help me God.

        My dad returned from the bathroom and dragged my obese suitcase downstairs. I did a final check to make sure I had everything. On my desk, I consulted a post-it of my last-minute checklist. “Cell phone, charger, passport, backpack, wallet, camera, suitcase, gift for host family and important document folder.” Check! I looked around my room, trying to engrave the scene into my memory.

My queen-sized bed was neatly made with my bird stuffed animals resting on the pillows. In the corner, my wooden desk was scattered with old textbooks and various Copenhagen guidebooks that I had decided not to take with me. Even my white carpet was littered with boots that did not make the final packing cut. The canary yellow wallpaper that I’d thought was a good idea in middle school now gave the room a slightly eerie vibe. In high school, my dad had let me add a border so now the walls were topped with scenes of assorted songbirds sitting in trees. I looked in the mirror that hung over my door and threw my dirty blonde hair into a high ponytail. I unbuttoned my grey cardigan (which had little yellow finches on it) because it clung too tightly to my arms and chest. My grandmother gave the cardigan to me for Christmas but bought me a small instead of a medium. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and not wear it ever. Maybe I’d lose weight in Denmark from all of the adventures I’d go on and then the cardigan would fit better. Hurling my heavy backpack onto my shoulders, I flicked off the lights and shut the door. I let out a small sigh and whispered, “See you in four months” to my room.

        I trotted down the carpeted steep stairs. Our Christmas tree was still set up in the den. My dad was downstairs in the kitchen with my bag. His face was flushed and beads of sweat trailed down the side of his face. My mom was there too with the bathroom scale, helping him check the bag’s weight.

        “Sweetie, why are you taking bricks with you to Denmark?” my dad joked as he placed the bag onto the scale. The block red lights of the scale blinked 49.5 lbs.

        “I have to stay warm somehow. Bricks are good insulation,” I told him. My dad raised an eyebrow. “Seriously. I need all my sweaters.”

        “Are you sure there is nothing in here that you can live without?” My mom asked.
        “Yes, I am sure, mom.” I rolled my eyes, “I need all of it. It’s not that much.” My mom crouched down on the floor, zipped open the mammoth suitcase and pulled out two blue sweaters.
She may have thought they were identical, but one was from Gap and cobalt blue, while the other was from Banana Republic and cerulean blue. Completely different, right?

        “Come on, Amber. You only need one,” she held both of them up to me, “Pick one.”
        “No, I need them. They’re different enough that it’s fine. Put them back, please”
        “Come on, Sue. Let her keep them. It’s not like her bag is over the weight limit,” my dad chimed in. “It’s fine.”
        “No, there is no reason for her to bring two of the same sweater. She needs to pack less.”
        “Honey, we need to go,” my dad pointed to the clock on the oven.
        “You always do that. You make excuses for her. She needs to learn.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Come on.” I said. My dad reached for both sweaters but my mom threw the cerulean sweater. She stuffed the other one back in the suitcase. The sweater landed on top of Sunny, our family’s old yellow and white beagle, who was sleeping on the couch. His tags jingled as he woke up. He looked around confused, with a blue sleeve covering his eyes. My mom zipped up the suitcase and pulled out the handle.

        “Say goodbye to Sunny, Amber,” she said, not looking at me. I went over to the couch, taking the sweater off of poor Sunny. I looked over my shoulder and as my mom’s back was turned, stuffed the sweater into my backpack. Sunny looked at me with his big brown eyes. It looked as if one eyebrow was raised in confusion. I sat down next to him and embraced him around his chubby neck. Since I was an only child, Sunny often played the role of my little brother. He had a magic ability to know when I was about to cry and would without fail trot up to my room to console me. He was always there, in my bed, if I needed to talk without someone else talking back.

Like me, he was getting older. We had adopted him from the humane society and estimated that he was now close to twelve years old. His muzzle was beginning to turn grey. He struggled to climb stairs. He wasn’t the same crazy playful puppy he used to be. But then again, I was no longer the hyper child who constantly wanted to play with him either. We had both matured.

I hugged him hard, breathing in his salty soft fur. I kissed his forehead and gave him a final pet and scratch behind the ears. Several of his white dog hairs clung to my cardigan. I didn’t bother wiping them off. Again, Sunny looked at me, confused. I hated not being able to tell him that I wouldn’t be back for a while, but I would definitely eventually be back.

“Okay, your monster suitcase is in the car,” my dad called. “Amber, we need to go.” I turned away from Sunny, fighting back the tears I felt forming in my eyes. I looked around at the kitchen I had grown up in one last time, sucked in all the air I could until there was none left and departed. With my backpack, I headed out the door.

My dad accelerated onto the highway despite the frosty January roads. To him, the highway was the same thing as the Indy 500 racetrack. I tried to relax during the car ride but I felt nauseous and my mind kept racing. What had I forgotten? How could I forget that? Did I have my passport? What if my host family hated me? What if I can’t find my flight? Why didn’t I learn Danish?

The leather in the backseat of the car felt cold underneath my jeans. My dad had the radio turned up obnoxiously loud. The local oldies radio station was still playing stupid Christmas music. I tugged on my seatbelt, trying to loosen its tight grip over my chest. We were on I-270, driving past the familiar fast food restaurants, factories and outlets. I rummaged through my backpack to triple check I had my passport. It was sealed in a plastic baggie on which my mom had Sharpied: “Amber’s Passport.” I pulled out one of my paperback Denmark guidebooks, both Christmas presents from my aunt.
Curled up on the couch, hiding under a blanket, I devoured both books last week. My favorite section had been the “Culture” one. Now, I flipped to that chapter where it started off: “Danes are often seen as being very direct and at times even rude, because they say what they think instead of disguising their views in polite euphemisms.” I was intrigued. So, would my host family tell me if I had a huge pimple on my forehead? If they didn’t like me, would they say it to my face? Oh, man. I wasn’t ready for that. I’m not a confrontational person at all. I can’t even watch confrontations. When my parents fought, I just hid upstairs in my room with Sunny. Plus, I hated hearing criticism, even it was masked under the term “constructive criticism.” I skimmed down the “Culture” page to find a more comforting sentence. “The Danes are very open to dating. Danish women can sometimes play ‘hard to get’ whereas the men are ‘eager to please.’ They are very informal and liberal with their dating ways.” I pictured myself bar-hopping every weekend, making out with guys and returning to America with a gorgeous Danish boyfriend to Skype with and write love letters back and forth. Now that I could handle.

I flipped a few pages ahead within the chapter. “Hey mom?” She nodded and looked up from her Stephen King novel.

“My Denmark book says, ‘Denmark is a small, quiet country, located far away from the international centers of tension.’ Does that make you feel any better?”
“A little bit. I’m still going to worry about you every day.”
“Even if it’s a safe country, don’t join any protests in the streets if you see them. That’s how kids get shot,” my dad chimed in. My mom opened up her book again and looked down. He continued, “Just last month, the news said an American college boy was shot in Egypt during a protest. Damn shame.”
“Dad, I’m not going to Egypt.”

“Doesn’t matter. Always be safe, Amber. Use your head,” he grunted. I thanked him for the heads up and told him I’d be sure to buy him a little pyramid figurine from Denmark. He didn’t get the joke.
I alternated reading my Denmark book and texting my friends from Indiana University a final goodbye for the two and a half hour drive. We reached the airport a full three hours before my plane departed, thanks to my dad’s lead foot.

“Do you want to have a farewell lunch?” My dad turned around and asked. I nodded. “Okay, how about Chi Chi’s?” He pointed to a brown building with a neon green sign and a picture of an oversize margarita. It had an enclosed patio area where colorful mini flags were strewn across the ceiling. Only five other cars occupied the parking lot. My dad pulled into a spot upfront and the three of us went inside.

“How many today?” A curvy Latino girl wearing a black T-shirt said. My dad held up three fingers to her. She waited for us to say something. He just kept his hand up. It took the girl a minute but then we followed her back to a booth. My mom rolled her eyes. She sat on the opposite side of my dad.    
“It wouldn’t have been that hard just to tell her ‘three.’”
“It was fine. She understood it, right?” My mom ignored him and picked up the menu.
“What are you going to get, Amber?” my dad said.
“Something small probably, I’m not that hungry.”
“Do you want to share something?” my mom said.
“No, you can each get your own things. We’re not poor,” my dad said.
“I realize that, but maybe Amber and I would be happier just sharing nachos.”
“Nonsense, just each get your own nachos.” My mom didn’t respond. She turned the menu over to look at the drinks.

The waiter appeared at our table. He was a tan adolescent with high cheekbones and jet black hair. His eyes were a faint greenish glitter, like a forest.
“Hola, amigos. Welcome to Chi Chi’s.  I’m Juan and I’ll be taking care of you guys. What can I start you guys off with?”

“I’d like a margarita and we’d like to share an order of nachos, please,” my mom said. My dad rattled off his order to Juan then shook his head in disgust at my mom. Juan scribbled into his pad, took our menus and left.

“Are you ready for this, sweetheart?” my dad turned his attention to me. When he faced me, all I could notice was his unusually sharp pointy nose. My grandmother had the same nose. It was the type of nose that could probably cut through glass. Thankfully I mostly had my mom’s small nose.
“Yeah, I think I’m ready. But I’m still really nervous. What if my host family doesn’t like me?” I played with the paper Corona coaster, spinning it on the table. I needed to have something in my hands.

“It’s natural to feel nervous. And of course they will like you. Why wouldn’t they? You’re a very nice girl.” Even though I had reminded her of my age countless times, my mom still talked to me like I was a little kid. Sometimes it was comforting, but other times it was annoying. In this moment of my anxiety, it was comforting.

“Thanks, Mom, I’m going to miss you a lot.” I fought the tears that were forming.
“If things get bad, remember you can always come home,” my dad said.
“Dad! No, if things get bad, I’m going to tough it out.” I slammed the coaster back down on the table and opted to just sit on my hands.
“Okay, that’s fine you can do that too if you want.”
The waiter brought us our drinks. Even though it was only 1 pm, my mom gulped down her margarita. I took a sip of my sweet tea. Ewwww! It tasted like regular unsweetened tea. I added three Sweet n Low packets, stirring them with my knife. It wasn’t worth complaining to the waiter about. He seemed nice and everybody makes mistakes.

  My mom changed the subject of the conversation. She flipped her short light brown hair to the side and fiddled with her wedding ring. Her silver Mickey Mouse earrings reminded me of the annual trips to Walt Disney World we took together. When I was 12, we power-walked through Epcot, holding hands, and she joked that we were superheroes called “Super Mom” and “Super Daughter.” My dad never came with us on those trips so that meant it was a whole week of no fighting.
“Did you like last night’s episode of ‘The Office’?” my mom said.

“Yeah, it was another good one. Jim cracks me up every time,” I said. My mom gazed up at the ceiling for a moment and I imagined her picturing Jim shirtless. She had confided in me a while ago that she thought he was good looking.
“I’m telling you, they based that show off my work,” my dad said, “I bet Jim was inspired by me.”
“I don’t think so. You guys look nothing alike,” my mom told him in a monotone.
“We both have brown hair.”
“And that’s where the similarities stop.”

Juan brought our nachos and my dad’s sizzling fajitas. Our orange nachos came in a big red bowl and were loaded with jalapeños, cheese, chicken, onions, beans, and tomatoes. It appeared impossible to pick up a chip without my hand being covered in something. I usually liked nachos but these ones tasted dry and stale. Even adding more salt to the nachos didn’t help. The irony that my last meal in America for four months was at a crappy Mexican restaurant sank in. I crunched the chips in my mouth worried about what my first meal in Denmark would be like.

2013, assignment, creative, creativewriting, denmark, fiction, writing

Creative Travel Writing Assignment

I wrote this for my Creative Travel Writing class. At the time, I was feeling like I wasn’t allowed to admit that study-abroad wasn’t always perfect. I wanted to explore how similar events can be portrayed so differently, depending on who the audience is. 
Assignment 1
Debbie in Denmark Blog
Monday January 28, 2013
Hello friends and family! I can’t believe I’ve been in the wonderful land of Denmark for two weeks now. It feels like just yesterday I was sitting at home in Ohio dreaming of what Copenhagen would be like. Today was a pretty remarkable day and I’m excited to share it with you.
When I stepped outside to walk to the train station, the air felt crisp and refreshing with the breeze. I looked up at the clouds. They caught my attention because they were moving quite fast, as if they were on a mission. They looked like the color of the nearby Baltic ocean. Through the small holes in the clouds, I saw the sky barely peeking out. I thought to myself how I’d never seen a sky look that gorgeous until I came to Denmark. I swear, the clouds in Ohio never appeared that marvelous.
I leisurely walked through my host family’s neighborhood to the train station. The Danish birds were chirping loudly all around me. They seemed to be singing just for me. Since I catch the 10:30 train every morning during my walk there aren’t very many people out and about in the neighborhood. At Denison, I usually put in my headphones when I walk to and from my dorm because the music keeps me entertained. Here, I feel I’d be missing out if I did that. The noise of the wind and the birds are my new music. After walking ten minutes, I reach the train station five minutes early.
Dear diary,
            I’ve been away from my friends and family for two weeks now. I’m starting to adjust a little, but it’s just hard. Everything is so different from what I’m used to. I keep wondering if I made a mistake by coming here. I ask myself why I chose to come to Denmark and I always come up with some sort of half-ass answer like, “I thought it’d be cool.” I definitely wasn’t expecting it to be this hard. I’m keeping a daily blog online and I feel like I need to always be cheerful there and only tell my family the good parts of my day. I don’t want them to feel bad for me or think I’m ungrateful for this opportunity.
            Skyping with my parents is also hard because I feel like I’m acting.
            “How are you doing? Are you adjusting okay?” my mom asks me.
            “Yeah I’m fine. Everything is so great here. Don’t worry about me,” I lie. I feel guilty not telling them the truth, but I know they couldn’t do much to help if they knew how I really felt. 
            Today was a pretty boring day. My morning was very rushed because I thought my host father’s dad would give me a ride to the train station like he has done in the past. He comes over and walks the dog around the time I leave for the station. But he didn’t come in time so I had to speed walk to the train. My face went numb from the cold wind whipping my face and my back started to sweat from hiking up the steep hills in the stupid neighborhood. The birds were squawking from the trees, giving me a small headache. I mixed up the times that the train comes so I got there actually five minutes early. I sat in the covered area where I saw a big brown rat last week and spaced out.
Debbie in Denmark Blog
Monday January 28, 2013
            During my train commute, I sat down by the window in a seating area that had two seats on each side that faced each other. At the next stop, an older woman sat down in the seat across from me. I nonchalantly tried to glance up from my iPad and was struck by how much she looked like my mom. The same short brown hair and permanent slightly frazzled appearance. She pulled out a juice box from her purse and started drinking from it. It was very…unexpected. I viewed it as some sort of sign from above that I was being watched over. It couldn’t have been just a coincidence that a woman resembling my mom, happened to sit by me.
            When I was walking to class today, there were two little chubby pigeons that followed me for a block. I don’t get to see pigeons in rural Ohio so it was a delight to watch them waddle on the sidewalk next to me. They wouldn’t win a pigeon beauty contest but they were nice company.
Dear diary,
            On the train, this weird guy was talking very loudly in front of me and it was distracting. My train rarely gets wi fi so I can’t do much besides play a game on my iPad. I tried to read my homework and stare out the window but this woman came and sat directly across from me. How rude! Give me some personal space, please. There were plenty of other seats she could’ve sat down in. To make things worse, she pulled out a fucking juice box. How old is this lady? 40? And she spent her commute slurping on an eight-ounce box of liquid. Unbelievable. 
To be honest, the language barrier is becoming a serious problem for me. Everything at the train station and on the train is in Danish. I can’t understand any of the important announcements. They sound like someone is playing a scratched recording backward. I was told that everything would be in English here so it was a terrible shock to find out I was lied to.
            When I walked to class, I looked down and was horrified to see a bald pigeon travelling next to me. He was completely normal except for the top of his head had a round patch of grey missing. An obese pigeon was trailing behind the one that resembled Curly from the Three Stooges. I’m pretty sure the bald one was being henpecked (or should I say pigeon pecked) by the fat one. I guess my train ride wasn’t that strange for Copenhagen because even the animals in this city are weird and rude to each other.
Debbie in Denmark Blog
Monday January 28, 2013
            I thoroughly enjoyed all of my classes today. They are very different from my classes I’ve taken at Denison so far, but they are still interesting and challenging.
In my Strategic Communication class, we talked about the 2006 Mohammed Cartoon Crisis in Denmark. We also discussed whether a U.S. newspaper should reprint the cartoons when covering the news about it. It was neat to discuss a realistic communication related question in class.
In my Human Trafficking class, we talked about the Palermo protocol which sounds like the most important document in defining human trafficking. We got into small groups and looked at three situations and decided if they were prostitution, trafficking, or smuggling. It was harder to do than one might think.
After my classes, I went to train station and while I waited on the platform I ran into a guy I recognized.  That morning, I actually recognized him on the train because of his jacket but didn’t say anything to him. Feeling confident after my good day, I approached him. We sat together on the train and talked about all the traveling he’s done in Europe.
It was a nice end to another perfect day in Copenhagen.
Dear diary,
            My least favorite part of the day was going to class. My classes are always boring and the DIS buildings are so gross. I went to use a bathroom and it had a huge puddle of piss by the seat. The whole bathroom smelled like shit. It was so disgusting that I couldn’t breathe with my nose.
My embarrassing moment of the day was when I found my Strategic Communication classroom, I immediately opened the classroom door. 20 wide-eyed students and one startled professor stared back at me. I asked what class it was and they said Danish. Really embarrassed, I quickly shut the door. Note to self: closed door equals class in session.
When I was finally done for the day, I headed back underground to catch the train. On the platform, I recognized a cute boy from orientation. I’d been meaning to talk to him because he looked pretty laid back but not a douche bag. I can’t tell you why I suddenly felt the urge to go up and say hey, but I did. It was probably a little creepy because I said, “You’re in DIS right? You’re Jacob right?” We made awkward small talk at first, which was made even more awkward by my nervous sarcastic jokes. I used to just giggle around boys but now I’ve matured into making weird sarcastic jokes.  We talked for like twenty minutes until his train stop. I was just proud of myself for talking to a boy. That was my okay ending to an okay day.

2013, bullsheet, debbie, deborahgillum, denison, writing

Deer will now be students

Hey. Here’s a satire piece I submitted to the Bullsheet on November 9, 2013. Enjoy! 

The university announced yesterday that in order to relieve racial tensions on campus and to promote diversity, deer will now be admitted to the campus.

“What better way to teach students to value diversity than to have diversity of species within the classroom?” said Denison’s president.

The university is the first of its kind to take such dramatic steps, but they are confident that it will be successful.

This decision came partly because of financial reasons.

“The deer have been freeloading on this campus for too long. It’s time they pay tuition like everyone else,” said an administrator eating Halloween candy.

The deer will be paying the full $50,000 semester tuition that includes food and lodging. The office of financial aid said that some deer will be given merit scholarship but only if they demonstrate, “exceptional academic promise.”

To accommodate the new students in the dorms, deer-doors will be installed over the summer in Shep and Shorney. Huffman and Curtis will also be offering tofu grass, organic twigs, and gluten-free grain for the deer.

Students have long complained that the campus was not diverse enough so the administration hopes that this decision to blend humans with animals within the classroom will once and for all end the debate.

The administration is emphasizing to students that any hazing of the deer will not be tolerated.

“They be grazing, not hazing, let’s be amazing” rapped one administrator.

The deer are excited to gain the respect of students and begin a rigorous schedule as a full-time student.

“I’m going to have to cutdown on my time standing in the middle of the road so I can really prioritize my environmental studies readings,” said one deer. The deer was seen shopping at J.Crew in order to prepare to blend in with fellow students. “Now, I’ll finally be able to swipe into Slayter instead of charging in there,” said the deer in an exclusive interview.

Students have mixed emotions about their new classmates.

“I don’t like the deer. They are too annoying. I don’t know how much more of their deer drivel I can take,” said a sophomore from Hawaii.

“This is great news. Now we’ll have more students available to attend fake protests,” said a student wearing Ugg boots in November.

To help integrate the deer onto campus, they will have their own unique Deer-O pre-pre orientation starting tomorrow followed by a pre-orientation beginning a week before classes start in the spring and then a formal orientation a month after classes start.

2013, 2014, deborahgillum, newyears

Reflecting on the past and future

Happy New Years!
I want to reflect back on the previous year and make some new years resolutions.

My 2013:

The year started out a bit scary for me because I moved to Copenhagen, Denmark for four months. I’ll admit I was terrified to leave my parents and live with a host family in a strange city. Once I adjusted to Denmark and got to know my host family, I was great. Being abroad allowed me to do a lot of world travelling. I travelled to Aarhus, Odense, Vienna, Venice, Verona, Florence, Rome, London, Scotland, Sweden, Paris, Bornholm and Amsterdam. I’m so lucky to have done so much travelling. Being put in uncomfortable situations and problem solving gave me confidence in myself.
In May, leaving my host family was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I did not want to get on that plane to America.
I came back to America and worked two weeks at Cedar Point. I returned to Columbus and got an internship with a travel agency. It was a good experience and gave me something productive to do.
In August, we had a family trip to Destin, Florida.
Returning to school was fun because I got to see all of my friends. It felt great to finally have an apartment and be a senior. My classes were challenging but it wasn’t the hardest semester I’ve ever had. I think more of my challenges came from within myself.
For Thanksgiving, my dad and I went to Pittsburgh. For Christmas, we went to Tennessee.
Overall, 2013 was my year of Denmark.

My 2014:
Until I can learn how to predict the future, I can only make predictions and cliche New Year’s Resolutions. 

  • Be healthy. This has got to be the most common resolution. I mean it in the sense that I’d like to lose weight and eat more fruits and veggies. It’s not realistic for me to say that I’ll exercise more. I  want to snack less and eat more healthy meals (I’m looking at you salads).  
  • Drink responsibly. Being at college makes this easier said than done but it’s a lifelong skill that I need to learn sooner than later. I’ve been doing a good job at this by setting goals and holding myself accountable. 
  • Read more. On Goodreads I challenged myself to read 50 books in 2014. In 2013, I read 40 books. I’m confident that if I read a book every two weeks, I can meet my new goal. Last year I did most of my reading over the summer and I even read several books while being a full-time student last semester. For an English major, I’m certainly not the most well-read individual, so I’ve been told many times. 
  • Find a job. Okay this one is an answer to the dreaded question, “So, what are you going to do next year?” I want to get a job. Preferably one that I like, relates to my major and that pays reasonably. I’m working on looking for jobs over winter break now. 
  • Travel. Being in Europe installed the travel bug within me. It was fantastic meeting new people and seeing new parts. I miss seeing mountains. More than anything in the world, I want to go back to Copenhagen, Denmark. That’s the main place I want to travel to. I dream about going back every night.